


The Payoff

by ghostinamasonjar



Category: Game Grumps
Genre: Angst, Anxiety, Anxiety Attacks, Dan Avidan's Hair, Friends to Lovers, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Not Beta Read, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Overthinking, Smut
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-09-06
Updated: 2019-09-17
Packaged: 2020-10-11 08:07:25
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 1,731
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20542859
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ghostinamasonjar/pseuds/ghostinamasonjar
Summary: Everything he did was so beautiful.Swaying his huge curls when he shakes his head, the way his voice was a natural harmony, the continuous bouts of laughter from almost everything they would do together. Arin was hopelessly infatuated with Leigh Daniel Avidan.





	1. Chapter 1

Everything he did was so beautiful. 

Swaying his huge curls when he shakes his head, the way his voice was a natural harmony, the continuous bouts of laughter from almost everything they would do together. Arin was hopelessly infatuated with Leigh Daniel Avidan.

The constant worry that Arin's feelings weren't meant to be reciprocated were there despite the closeness they had whether the cameras were on or off. But Dan just made him feel so good. Like being wrapped small and warm under a blanket, and showered with the feeling of a soft warm light. He made Arin feel like he was something. That he was someone worth spending time with. 

The first day he met the taller man, he made Arin laugh and feel amazing. His presence illuminated whichever room he entered, and Arin basked in it. It made him feel like he was glowing.

It was the best. Being alone with him. Falling asleep on the couch after recording for hours upon hours. Once everyone cleared, they spoke about pointless topics that made the both of them giggle in the quiet space. He craved so much from him, but never had the guts to ruin their friendship. Arin wouldn't risk that for anything.

Arin felt so lucky. He felt so lucky just to be his friend. Just to breathe the same air as him, and that was all he needed. He didn't need the other things his mind went too when he had his own time. God, he felt so guilty being in his room, letting his thoughts wander from Dan's lovely smile and kind words to thinking what it would feel like to bury his fingers and tug those curly locks. Fuck or get fucked into the sheets of a bed, or even the leather of a couch. 

This just happened to be one of those nights. After coming home from the office, Arin settled down to get some much needed sleep but his plan quickly went south. He was restless. There were some days where he could ignore his feelings, repress them and tell himself 'You don't have a chance, forget about it.' Now was not one of those times.

Arin tossed and turned for a while but his mind wandered to him. To Dan, running his hand on his hair and looking at him in a way that was more than friendly. Feeling Arin's body all over, running his palm over his jean and feeling how hard was. 

Arin gasped as he pulled his dick out from his boxers, running a thumb over the head. Maybe Dan would be gentle and loving, taking him slow and deep. Or fuck him hard and and rough, pounding his hole open and making him his. Before he knew it, he was pumping his cock fast, panting and groaning softly at his own thoughts. 

Or Dan might want to be taken, hair pulled while Arin fucked his throat. He would swallow him down or choke on his girth, little tears in the corners of his eyes. He was just so beautiful. Dan would use his smooth voice to talk down into his ear and tell him the dirtiest things while Arin moaned and groaned for more and-

Arin climaxes with a whimper and Dan's name rolling off his tongue. After catching his breath, he looks down at the mess he made on his T shirt, sighing deeply. He takes it off and cleans himself up then chucks it into the overfilled hamper.

He stares at the ceiling, overthinking until he's tired again with a small headache. "I've gotta get this under control," he mumbles before dozing off into a deep sleep.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading! Comments and kudos are very welcomed and inspire me to continue the works I post. 
> 
> XOXO


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "Oh my god, what am I doing," Arin looks at himself in the mirror of the office bathroom, brushing some hair from his face. He got there early, no one was in the building except him so that gave Arin plenty of time to overthink on what would happen today.

"Oh my god, what am I doing," Arin looks at himself in the mirror of the office bathroom, brushing some hair from his face. He got there early, no one was in the building except him so that gave Arin plenty of time to overthink on what would happen today.

There was a general theme to his thoughts. Think of good things but immediately cancel them out with the negative and regret what hasn't even happened yet, or what won't ever happen. Suzy usually helped him out with coping with his anxiety. She didn't know the entirety of the current situation he had going on with Dan but she knew he struggled daily, but since she's at her parents for the week it's been more of a struggle than usual. More of a struggle to breathe right or distract himself. Sometimes he just couldn't.

Dan would be here any minute with Ross. Vernon and Brent would come in shortly after along with everyone else. Then he'd have to suck it up and act normal until he can calm down because he sure as hell could not do that right now. 

Arin clutched the counter and stared down at the sink, trying to calm down his breathing, his mind, his heart, anything. He shouldn't have attempted to be optimistic this morning, he shouldn't have thought everything would be alright today, he should just say how he feels, he should be a better friend, a better boss, he should work harder, he shouldn't waste everyone's time. 

It felt like he was having a heart attack, and he thinks he's going to die. It would spell "R.I.P Arin Hanson, couldn't get his shit together" , on his tombstone. Damn, what a way to go. Before he knew it, he was a tear stained, shaking mess and was so deafened by the blood rushing to his head that he didn't hear someone walk into the building, nor the bathroom door open. He only noticed when he happened to open his eyes and saw the light of the hallway and silhouette of a person in the doorframe. His vision was blurry but he had a gut feeling who it would be.

Of course, it had to be Dan.

"Fuck, Arin, are you okay?" In an instant, he lays a firm hand on the shorter man's shoulder. "What's going on? Do you need anything or-"

Through labored breaths, Arin manages to get words to the surface. "Who... Who else is- h-here?"

"No one buddy, no one else is here. Ross went down the street to get breakfast, he thought you wouldn't mind."

"Fuck," His voice was trembling and he was hiccuping now, all of his weight being carried by the counter. Dan was going to think he was such a mess after this, he just knew it. Then everything else would crumble. He can't handle this.

"Hey, hey, just breathe with me, okay? All you gotta do is breathe man," Dan inhaled and exhaled in big breathes to encourage Arin.

Eventually Arin made the attempt to mimic Dan, breathing in and out and trying to calm his mind for a minute. Dan just kept his hand firm on his shoulder, gripping a little. Arin was weak at the knees but he was more grounded when Dan did that.

Eventually, Arin stopped hyperventilating. Now he was just trembling, eyes still locked on the sink. Dan rubbed his back in soothing circles, and if Arin wasn't so shaken, he probably would've leaned into the touch.

"You okay now? Feel any better?"

"Well I don't feel like I'm gonna die, so that's a start."

"... Do you wanna talk about it?"

With that Arin tensed, and he knew Dan noticed, that he could feel him with the hand he had on his back.

"Okay, okay, we won't. Just know that you can come to me when there's something wrong, y'know? I don't mind helping you out, or at least being there."

And with that Arin ignored his last statement. He began to splash some water on his face and rub away the traces of tears. He hesitantly leaned upwards to look at himself. He looked like shit, frankly. His eyes were going to be red for another 10 minutes but puffy for the rest of the day.

Arin felt lightheaded and just utterly disgusted with himself. His eyes met Dan's in the mirror and he instantly regretted it. His eyes were full of concern and trust, a beautiful brown in the blue and orange light of the Portal themed bathroom. He felt for Arin's pain, he didn't want him to hurt. It killed him inside, having to keep anything from Dan but he just couldn't bring himself to tell him. 

They'd never be the same. Maybe Dan would even leave Game Grumps after the fact, and they'd never see each other again. It would be all Arin's fault, and he'd have to find another Not So Grump, and no one could replace Dan. Not now, not ever.

Arin looked down as his eyes started to water once more. He's never been more conflicted, and it hurts so much.

"Hey. Dude. Look at me a sec."

It took a few beats, but Arin brought himself to look at the taller of the two. Immediately, Dan pulled him into a hug. It made him feel safe, and brushed away some of the weight he was carrying. Arin closed his eyes and returned the gesture, although more weak and soft feeling in contrast to Danny's firm hold.

"I dunno what's going on but I don't want you to go through it alone. Let me take you home, we can skip out on making Grump episodes for the day."

Arin pulls away, looking up at him with a disgruntled look. "You know we can't Dan, there's too much to do-"

"We can always catch up, you need this dude. C'mon, I'll email the office when I get you home." 

And with that, Dan led them out. Arin was in no mood to argue with the decision and Danny was right, he really just wanted to be home. Once by his car, Dan asked and was handed the keys. They drove off within the minute.

The ride was silent aside from the so called "Emergency Rush CD" Dan bought for Arin's car. It was playing at a low enough volume that he could still hear the hum of the vehicle. With his head leaning on the frame of the passenger seat window, Arin let his eyes shut for a beat. Still awake but resting his dull burning eyes, ears tuning in to Dan's low humming to the current song from the car speakers.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey! This one's longer :) Hope you're enjoying this so far! Kudos and comments motivate me, feel free to leave em! XOXO


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